Flannery Correspondence

May 1, 2010

Stewartship And Foster Parenting

Filed under: MOPS — BrianOFlan @ 17:29

NOVEMBER 20, 2009

by Christa Flannery

When my husband and I were going through the adoption process we experienced some very emotional times. I remember one day specifically, when it looked like the bio-parents had a fighting chance of getting Ada and Tirza back. Ada had been a part of our family for nine months and Tirza for two months (we got her the day after she was born). I just couldn’t imagine them suddenly not being a part of our lives.

How could I lose these children? Or even harder, how could I love them the way that God intended and then give them back? I could not love these girls — pour myself into it — if I thought about the fact that they were not yet my daughters.
It was during this adoption roller coaster that God really taught me about stewardship. In one arm I held Tirza, who was given to me by social services. I was a foster parent assigned to care for her until they decided her permanent placement. In my other arm I held Zella, born to me only eleven days before Tirza was born to someone else. She was mine. No one could take her from me; I was her permanent placement.

But wait… was I? Was she not also entrusted to me for safe-keeping by someone with much more authority than social services? And isn’t it God’s decision when our time has come to go Home? Suddenly I realized that there was no real difference. Both of these lives (in fact, all four of my children) were gifts. All I could do was be thankful for the time that I was given and give it my best as I fostered all my girls.

This evening we received a phone call asking for prayer. Our pregnant friend had stopped feeling her twins move. Tomorrow, she will be induced at 27 weeks and deliver her first children. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around the pain that my friend and her husband must be going through – delivering her twins whom she will never see grow up or even breathe their first breaths. I’ve shed many tears tonight, perhaps more than I have in a long time (ever since our adoption finalized).

I went into my girls’ room and said a prayer. I never want to take it for granted; I never want to forget that they are gifts. Sooner or later our children leave. Sooner: they may assert independence, shy from our kisses, go to school all day or vanish in some tragedy. Later: they may grow up, get married, start their own families and move far away. So they are on loan, not ours after all. If and when He reclaims His children, I hope to hear “Well done good and faithful servant” and find the comfort that can only come from God.

Please pray for Sarah and Chris as they grieve the loss of their twin girls. Please pray for every mom in our group who has suffered from a miscarriage. Please pray for every woman who is struggling with infertility. Pray for every parent who has lost a child. And pray that each of us enjoys each moment, each child, and that we don’t forget Who loves our kids even more than we do.


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